I Have My First Aid Certificate But Why Would I Use It?

as I devour this delecatble moresel of tenderloin from work tonight I bring an interesting afternoon to share.

I pretty much had my chance to shine and use all that money my mum spent in me learning first aid today but I didn't...


I was in the city buying new work shoes when I realised that it was almost 5 and my freak (wow I actually typed freak..) I mean friend, Keaghan was getting off work. (this is the one who says i'm a lesbian) Because he lives in an amazing share house (spa AND outdoor kitchen PLUS indoor kitchen), which is actually his good friends house and his parents have just gone traveling Australia for a year, Fran and I decided to intrude once a week, cook dinner and watch the new season of skins.
Realising I wouldn't be able to make it tonight, due to work, I offered him a lift home.

As we were walking to the car and discussing how much i'm missing out on this new incredibly lesbian filled episode of skins keaghan looks ahead and goes "Oh" I look up too and see that a car has just screeched to a halt and there's a woman faceplanted in the middle of the road entangled in her bike.


Me: Shit, do you think she's okay?

K: She's getting up

Me: mmm yeah..

K: Should we go help?

Me: nah she's alright, there's plenty of people helping.

K: You're the one with the first aid certificate. Aren't you like, obligated or something?

Me: No way, that's how you get sued.

K: You probably know more than them?

Me: Oh she's bleeding.. Nah.. they've got it under control. They should probably get her to sit down though..


I'm so helpful. BUT in my defence, there were at least 3 people helping her and they seemed to be getting her to sit down as we rounded the corner and they went out of sight... and I would have been late for work.

I'm a terrible person.