Do You Have Snow on your Christmas Cards?

Writing this after the festive period and being privileged enough to have had a wonderful 8 months travelling, I somehow found myself in England for Christmas. I got asked the usual questions “Do you ride kangaroos in Australia?” “Do you have snow on your Christmas cards?” and although I wasn’t lying when I answered, “Why yes! Yes we do!” (Well, to the second one anyway) From what I can remember in Australia, Christmas has always been associated with a Barbequed ham or turkey and the only “snow” we’ve had was the stuff mum scraped from the freezer.
So it got me wondering – why do we have snow and Santa in a heavy red coat with fur lining when clearly it’s hot at Christmas time?
The fact that I can buy a card depicting a toasty fire with stockings hanging precariously above it or that a snowman will come alive, dress up in my mum and dad’s clothes and fly me all over town* just seem a little pretentious to me.
Why are we trying to spend Christmas the way we can’t?

Perhaps Santa is self conscious in swimwear? He knows he can’t watch his weight because that mince pie slash biscuit slash beer (yeah, I used to leave Santa beer) is just so tempting and fair enough – it’s not every day the whole world leaves you free food.
Perhaps he couldn't bring himself to take off the love handle hider to make himself more easily believed by the people here in the southern hemisphere.
But you know those Christmas cards with Santa in swimming attire?(gawd forbid if he ever sported budgie smugglers), I’ve got my money riding on the belief they are the work of elf insiders wanting to make a few extra bucks on the side – (the cheeky buggers) - and what better way then to sell them to the countries which report how much dirt has fallen over the last month, rather than rain, which normal countries seem to receive on a considerably higher average.
And perhaps, in the light of the world financial crisis, that’s what it’s come down to -Candid shots of the jolly old fat man.
Either way, even they, true to our weather and time of the year, are far and few between, snowed under an abundance of winter themed rivals.

In reality I’m sure is that it’s just plain cheaper to import Christmas cards from the other side of the world… but where’s the fun in that?



Santa, if you’re reading this, I’d like a pony this year.