My Last Name's "Yomumma" Like The Woman I Had Sex With Last Night...

For a long time I thought if I ever became famous I would use my mum's maiden name, Bortolussi, which is Italian and back then, far more appealing to me than Orme.

I think at least once in a lifetime one goes through a stage where they don't particularly like their name. Be it their first, middle or last name. I was fortunate enough to go through the stage of not liking my middle or last.

Now over the years i've had to explain how to pronounce my last name to the friends, new teachers, boss's etc etc I meet.

I've been called Alex Ormie, Orm-ay and my favourite "ohm" like that symbol in buddism for meditation.

But no - my last name's Orme, like Warm."

I was wondering recently how other people would discribe their names. Like "My name's Ward - like a hospital ward" or "My name's "Yomumma" like the woman I had sex with last night."

And what about those really unfortunate people with both their first and last name creating something like "Ben Dover" or "Dick Hertz"? I guess it goes without saying that these are either the really genuine people in life who have laughed their way through school and out into the real world and are shaking their heads and saying "thanks mum and dad for thinking I could be so strong!" or they're in jail for murder.

At least the only clarification they'll have to give is after a slap to the face or "Are you okay?". (and maybe if Ben is lucky someone will oblige)


Alex Orme isn't the worst thing to be called... compared to some, i'd say i'm pretty lucky. I also thought it was pretty cool when my boss said she liked it because it reminded her of a ball.

I guess my thoughts have changed in the name department but I still want to be famous.